Look, no one expected this to be good alright? The second a trailer was released, was the second everyone trashed it. I thought it was a bad idea, you thought it was a bad idea, we all thought it was a bad idea. After sitting through it, I can safely say it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, but it's still bad. Excluding the voice cast, which worked, this movie is just dumb, but I can't really think of anything to say that I haven't already on my instagram review (look up rowdy-browdy on instagram), so instead, here's some lists for your entertainment. By the way, spoilers.
MOVIES LIKE THIS, BUT BETTER
.Wreck-It Ralph
.Inside Out
.The LEGO Movie
.Who Framed Roger Rabbit
.Ralph Breaks the Internet:Wreck-It Ralph 2 (prove me wrong)
MOVIES LIKE THIS, BUT WORSE
.Food Fight
MOVIES UNLIKE THIS, BUT WORSE
.Batman V. Superman
.The Mummy (2017)
REALLY STUPID THINGS IN THE MOVIE
.The Meh Emoji says Emojis are the most important ways to communicate.
.A kid says words are dumb.
.The High-Five Emoji thinks he can become a favorite again by hacking the phone, not realizing the kid has to use him to make him a favorite.
.There's a porn joke, but the app never hints at porn.
.How do Emojis know what porn is?
.The scenes with Meh's parents feel like poorly done Pixar parodies.
.There's a gag with robots watching videos on YouTube, this doesn't open the app, but the Emojis doing other things does.
.Why do Emojis even need to stay in character outside the cubes? they are only scanned in the cube, and are scanned by making a face.
.The Main kid sets up an appointment to wipe his phone so that it it stops "glitching". That's not how that works and anyone can wipe their phones.
.The Emojis fear being wiped, but don't seem to notice it'll happen anyway when the kid gets a new phone.
.Why does the text app have a city?
.No seriously, the other apps don't.
.The kid stops his phone being wiped by disconnecting a cable, that's not how that works.
.There's a dance at the end because of course there is.
REALLY STUPID THINGS NOT IN THE MOVIE
.The people acting like this is the first movie based on something stupid.
.The crowd behind me who tried to have a serious discussion on the movie.
.The Trump Administration.
Well there's the lists, see ya next time.
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Written by Octaviano Macias
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